Week 5. As time goes on I'm learning that lots of people of around my age have had shingles recently. Can that be a coincidence? I know it's more prevalent in the over 60s. But almost everyone my husband or I have spoken to have had it within the past two years. It's not infectious-except if you haven't had chicken pox, then you could catch chicken pox from my shingles. One friend told me that once the rash had faded, the nerve pain went on for two years. TWO YEARS!
At the weekend I made a decision to stop taking the medication. It wasn't working and making my whole system upset. Since then, although my nights are still mixed, I am starting to pick up. Yesterday I went out for the first walk I've had for five weeks. Although wiped out afterwards, it felt like a big achievement. I was wondering if I was starting to become agoraphobic.
I have been back at work for three weeks, seeing on average 8 or 9 clients a week, in the afternoons and evening. That has helped me to focus outside myself for part of the day. I've always told my clients that you may not ' feel' like doing anything when you're ill or low, but the very act of doing something, however small, generates its own energy and can help you start recovery. How glib my clients must have thought me! I now personally know how hard it is to take that first step when you feel so wretched. I hope this experience will make me less glib and more appreciative of my clients' difficulties.
I've learnt a lot about myself and those close to me during this testing time. I know not to assume people don't care if they don't text or call you back! I probably have unrealistic expectations of some people. People have busy lives and their own problems. But also, there is a tendency to overly rely on technology for communication. It can let you down. In one case it almost stymied a close relationship. But, thankfully that's been mended after a couple of healing conversations. I can't thank my husband enough for the care and love he has shown during this time. He deserves a medal putting up with my grumps and humps, listening, feeding and caring for me.
Writing has been my other constant companion throughout this episode. It's a pity that 'Writers in the Park' inspired so little interest. However, there may be the possibility of a more informal group starting up locally.
I now need to move forward, manage the pain for however long it may last, take up my interests and re-enter the world of the well.
This may not be the last episode, but here's the latest of Shingles Saga.
'You still here,? I asked her at 4am, as she used her pin cushion to prick me awake.
'I'm here for the long haul,' she replied, pressing my ribs.
'You are so cliched,' I said.
'Well, you taught me how,' she replied, poking me in the back with a sharp needle.
'Can't we call a truce?'
'Not quite yet', she said. We'll have to see how the Scottish Referendum turns out first.'
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